Inner Dialogue
How aware are you of your inner dialogue? What I mean by inner dialogue is the thoughts you have that are geared towards who you are, how you act, how you look, etc. Over the past couple years I have gained a lot of awareness around my inner dialogue, and I have realized how much I talk shit to myself. Most people are their own worst critic, but this habit can be the downfall to people’s mental state. How can we change this?
Awareness is the first step when changing any habit. Become more vigilant of your thoughts, and pause for a moment after you hear any of the following thoughts: What the hell am I doing? How could I be this stupid? Why did I fall for his/her tricks AGAIN? Why am I so xyz? How could you make that mistake AGAIN? The list goes on and on, but you know your tendencies better than anyone so take some time to think about what you beat yourself up about the most. For me, I beat myself up the most when I make the same mistakes over and over again, especially when it comes to breaking bad habits.
I can totally understand why myself and other people have the tendency to beat themselves up, it’s because we care. We care about how we looked. We care about what other people were thinking about us. We care about becoming a better father, mother, son, or daughter. We care about becoming a better human being. If all this is true, then why do we revert to negative inner dialogue anytime we make a mistake? Everyone’s why is different and based on experiences we’ve had in the past, but regardless of where the habit comes from, what positive outcome does breaking yourself down have? There are time’s where you need to hold yourself accountable, there are times where you need to motivate yourself, but there are no times where bullying yourself is necessary.
My mom introduced me to one of my favorite habits when it comes to building up your self-image. Anytime she would hear me say something negative about myself she would say, “Don’t talk to my son like that.” The reason why I loved this response so much is because it forced me to gain some perspective, allowing me to become aware of the detriments of negative inner dialogue. It’s almost like it snapped me out of a trance that was surrounded by darkness.
Over the course of the next couple weeks, I want you to catch yourself in the act of talking shit to yourself. Awareness is the first step, and by just stopping for a moment to realize what you are doing with your thoughts, you are gaining awareness. You have to be your own hero, just like you are your own bully. Maybe you tell yourself, “Don’t talk to my boy like that”, or “Don’t talk to my girl like that” after you realize that bully inside you has come out. Life is gonna beat you up plenty, there’s no need to fuel the fire.
With Love,
Luke
