Regret

I always laughed when people said they had no regrets. The first question that pops into my mind when I heard people say that was, “not even one?” There’s not one thing that you would go back and change? I was always so curious how someone could say that they had no regrets, it just didn’t seem possible in my mind. I now realize that this saying is a technicality. Everyone technically has regrets but how they choose to view them is up to the individual. When people say they have no regrets they are saying they would not change the course of their life because they may not have learned what they did, met who they did, and overcame what they did.

I tend to dwell on mistakes and this makes for a pretty nasty headspace. A headspace with no light in sight. A headspace with no reason to learn. A headspace that makes it easy to just lay down and give up.

I now realize that dwelling upon mistakes is something that I’ve made a habit of, and it is up to me to tell this habit to fuck off. Because I am aware of this bad habit, I am better able to control what happens after, I am better able to control my response to the thoughts that come along with dwelling. I’m able to flip the switch and make the choice to look for lessons in the mistakes, to look for that light. I make the choice to stop digging myself deeper and deeper into the darkness that is dwelling.

Don’t mistake this process for an easy task, it isn’t by any means, and just like any other skill, it takes time and persistence. I feel like I’ve said this a million times in my writing, but awareness is the first step. Ask yourself if you obsess over mistakes. Ask yourself if you constantly consider what you should’ve done in the past. Ask yourself if you have “regrets.” Hopefully you gain some awareness around this habit that you didn’t have before, if so, then pat yourself on the back, celebrate the small wins. Next, I’ve found that is easiest to find lessons in mistakes by writing down what you are dwelling upon. Write down the thoughts you are having in regards to this mistake, then, take 5 minutes to just think. Think about what you will and won’t do in the future because of the mistake you made in the past. There’s no changing what you did, the only change comes in the future. Lastly, know these thoughts of obsession over mistakes will pop up every now and again, except this time around you are empowered. Look for the light.

With Love,

Luke